Natalia Paris, a Colombian model (and part-time poultry aficionado), was on Colombian television (I know right? They have TV in Colombia?) and claimed that the chicken in the country was so packed with female hormones that it was turning men gay. I’m not sure if she based this statement on actual research, or she was just depressed because a total of FOUR guys walked by her on the beach the day before and didn’t immediately develop erections (they were probably all eating chicken too!!) :
The head of the National Federation of Colombian Poultry Farmers (or NFCPF for n00bz) has denied such allegations, saying that the chicken is not injected with the growth hormones and according to reports, he’s pretty pissed.
Now these are the sort of things that make me think before I eat food from fast food chains. Next I’ll be explaining to my girlfriend why things are just not going to work out. “There I was, babe, munching on some of that premium McNugget goodness, when I realized that the one thing I was missing in life is sweet, sweet penis”
Somehow I think that she might be exaggerating. I’m sure in the right doses these hormones could give men the sads, or make them develop something that resemble breasts (WOOHOO!) but I doubt that a heterosexual dude is going to have a drumstick and immediately start craving manflesh. No word yet if this is going to make gay men even gayer, but I think we all know that they tend to get their protein by other means than chicken, if you know what I mean. No? Semen, I’m talking about Semen.